10 Things To Freak Out About Now That Kate Middleton Is Pregnant

Is she having twins?! Is she buying maternity clothes?! LET’S ALL FREAK OUT IN A SEMI-ORGANIZED FASHION! posted on

1. How is Kate feeling?!

Arthur Edwards - WPA Pool / Getty Images

The pregnancy is obviously epically wonderful news — the news we’ve been waiting for since Kate entered the media at all! — but the palace told the world in its statement:

The Duchess was admitted this afternoon to King Edward VII Hospital in Central London with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter.

This condition, hyperemesis gravidarum, is a serious one. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, “Hyperemesis gravidarum is extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy that may lead to dehydration.”

Additionally:

The cause of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy is believed to be rapidly rising blood levels of a hormone called HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin), which is released by the placenta.

Extreme nausea and vomiting during pregnancy can happen if you are pregnant with twins (or more) or if you have a hydatidiform mole.

Many experts believe that hyperemesis gravidarum is what took Charlotte Bronte’s life at 38 years old in 1855. Treatment for the illness today includes small, frequent meals and plenty of dry food, lots of fluids, and medication to reduce nausea.

But wait did I gloss over something really important, now?

2. What if she’s having TWINS?!

Arthur Edwards - WPA Pool / Getty Images

All we know is that she’s conceived, not necessarily that she’s just got one baby growing inside her, so Royal Twingate could indeed be upon us.

3. Is she having a boy (or boys) or girl (or girls)?!

Kirsty Wigglesworth, pool / AP

Diana said she was glad she had boys and not girls because baby girls are obviously so much more viral (not that it would have been “viral” when Diana was pregnant — more like “breaking newsstands everywhere,” ha ha) than boys. Just look at Suri Cruise vs. Tom and Gisele’s Benjamin. Although everyone will probably be just as obsessed with this blessed child, whether it’s a boy or girl.

4. What will she name the baby?!

Hopefully something involving a color and plant put together in such a way that is seemingly nonsensical but actually has some kind of deeper, coded meaning!

Kidding. We want Diana somewhere in the name (don’t royals have to have, like, nine of them, minimum?). And a Roman numeral would also seem appropriate.

5. What will Kate wear?!

MATERNITY CLOTHES!!! But not until her belly is too big to fit her normal clothes. And no matter what she wears, everyone is going to say her outfits are insanely stylish and amazing and all the stuff she wears is going to sell out. Which is what happens when she goes to cocktail parties dressed like an ice dancer.

6. What will the baby wear?!

Hopefully LOTS of printed onesies and hats that overwhelm his/her little head.

And sequins. I’m rooting for sequins.

7. Will Kate breast-feed?!

Whether she does or doesn’t, she’ll have the good sense not to say stupid things about it, like Gisele, for instance. We only know so much about Kate, but we do know she is not a gaffe waiting to happen.

8. What will Prince Harry do? Will we call him “Dirty Uncle Harry”?

Will he teach the to-be-named royal to ride a horse or a bike? Go around Vegas with a baby bjorn strapped to his chest like a badass, attracting way more ladies than he ever did when he cruised through casinos carrying puppies? The possibilites are endless, but lots of them point toward Harry getting more ladies and sex than in pre-unclehood.

9. Will the royal baby emerge from the hospital “Lion King”–style?!

Here’s hoping!

10. DO WE HAVE TO CARE ABOUT WILLIAM MORE NOW TOO?

I’m going with…no.

Now go ahead and FREAK THE HELL OUT — KATE’S PREGNANT!!!

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