1. ‘Third world’ hotel
Cold beans for breakfast, too. Appalling.
2. Stomp the musical: ‘the noise level was horrendous’
I mean, the clue isn’t in the name or anything…
3. This person wasn’t keen either
Not at all dramatic.
4. ‘55 mins approx’ wasted at this train museum
Did she time it to the second?
5. The title of this review says it all
He won’t be doing that again then.
6. She had a face like a slapped bum
Wow, ‘clipboard woman’ really ruined the night.
7. West End’s Billy Elliot: ‘dancing was crap’
‘The dancing was crap, the acting even more so and the singing abysmal.’
8. And West End’s Mamma Mia? ‘Musical carnage’
The last line of the review sums it up nicely.
9. Life ruined by a creaky floorboard
Oh, the horror.
10. Visit this train museum with ‘extreme caution’
Thanks for the warning, Mark C.
11. ‘We had to listen to northerners shouting “wot” and other terms’
Hmm. Probably not the best idea to spend every night of your holiday at the children’s disco then.
12. ‘We were still very cold…taking our gloves off to eat’
Believe it or not, this was a M&S cafe.
13. And it continues…
That’s six moans, right there.
14. The Houses of Parliament was too nice
Why did this reviewer go if he hoped it would be bad?
15. This person took the time to review a street. And moan about it.
16. ‘Just floppy skin chicken’
Best stick to what to know, eh.
17. Surely a hotel is better that sleeping rough? Maybe not…
A takeaway menu? Now that is offensive.
18. ‘Multi-ethnic neighborhood, a little scary at night’
Just some casual racism.
19. Not even real scrambled eggs
It doesn’t seem likely that Mr_Bunster will be returning.
20. Scary Liverpudlian tap water
The view didn’t improve after they’d taken their contact lenses out?
21. This person seriously went on holiday to watch TV
But apart from that, ‘the stay was otherwise OK.’
22. Not a fan of modern art? Probably should avoid the Design Museum then
Did SheanaLondon not see that coming?
23. ‘People in the gift shop shout at you’
A great day out had by all.
24. Putting pins in my eyes would be more fun
Thank goodness for Manuel.
25. Burnt beans and ‘sausages was raw’
Despite not enjoying the breakfast, mrandmrsTEngland ate it three days in a row.
26. Shezzzw didn’t enjoy her meal either
Should’ve stuck with Maccy D’s.
27. The staff’s maths skills just weren’t up to scratch
JonesMopolla was so furious, he remembered the exact amounts so he could complain about them on TripAdvisor.
So. Much. Detail.
29. A terrible chicken kiev experience
In summary: avoid the chicken kiev.
30. Natural History Museum: ‘terribly dull’
Yes, it is an unpopular attraction.
31. ‘They get most of their business from oil companies so service is virtually non existant’
Oh, that’s why it’s bad!
32. This review
33. And this reply
‘You also failed to add that you took chairs and glasses from the restaurant and sat in reception drinking your own wine.’
34. “Where are the biscuits?”
‘That is penny pinching taken to extremes.’
35. At least the dog was happy
If only his owner was as easy going.