Thoughts You Have When You (Re)watch "Game Of Thrones" For The First Time

What's a Khaleesi?

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Unlike what seems to be 99.999% of the population, I have never seen “Game of Thrones.” Well, I watched the first four episodes once following the short-brained but equally zealous idea that I was going to embark on the Great GOT Binge-Watch of Spring Break 2012. However, that didn’t pan out, since I don’t remember much…so why not start over now that there are 2 or 3 or 15 extra seasons for me to watch? And the season 5 premiere is coming up? Because I don’t have things to do like schoolwork or other student and adult things. It’s fine.

So, after an early Sunday evening viewing, here’s a few of the thoughts, both random and relatively unfiltered, I had while starting the fantastical, weapon-wielding, Peter Dinklage-including HBO hit…

Episode 1: Winter is Coming

1:15 – Winter is coming? Dude, winter is already here. You’re riding a horse through what looks like the Alps right now.

2:56 – Okay, so these dismembered bodies were *clearly* not ready for said winter? (Jeez, they’re starting the gore off early with this one…)

4:20 – So does this douche “Get back on your horse” guy look a bit like John Ritter, or…?

5:25 – Luxurious Fur Coat Shot #1…I wonder if there will be enough to actually keep count of this?

5:51 – Oh. Bye then, douchey almost-John Ritter.

7:30 – Is it a “rite” or something that I’ll need to have this intro music memorized?

8:22 – Am I watching an intro to the show or a quick rehash of “Hugo”? (I mean, I haven’t seen “Hugo,” but this late nineteenth century-esque machinery seems vaguely reminiscent of the trailer…)

9:25 – I’m sorry, but how is this man still living and not currently decapitated by the weird snow monster people?

9:54 – Ahh, yes. That is Jon Snow. I at least know that. And he’s standing with Cinderella’s Prince from the new movie and being watched by Boromir from the Lord of the Rings from above.

12:45 – Somebody give that guy who saw the snow people some Chapstick. I’m talking a couple of tubes of it, people. Maybe some Neosporin for good measure. Damn.

And apparently the snow people are called “white walkers” – good to know.

14:07 – Luxurious Fur Coat Shot #2

16:49 – Dire wolf puppies! Fluffy cute adorable dire wolf puppies!

17:50 – Same, Jon Snow. I would also be angsty if I sacrificed my puppy-fueled happiness to give the other kids the adorable little woofs. I feel you, man.

18:04 – A sixth puppy! A runt! Symbolism! Also puppies!

22:47 – Shirtless Men Shaving Party Featuring Abs #1…I’m guessing this won’t be a recurring shot, but…

26:40 – Luxurious Fur Coat Shot #3 – by Mark Addy! Fred Flinstone is lookin’ fly…

30:29 – Alas, Peter Dinklage has arrived! And halfway through the episode? Oy.

33:23 – So is this Khaleesi chick like a female Legolas?

33:24 – Will I just be comparing this to “Lord of the Rings” the whole time?

33:45 – Okay, so maybe she isn’t Khaleesi yet. Daenerys it is.

35:10 – “Sweet sister”?! SISTER?! This is NOT the appropriate relationship for naked bonding time…

36:25 – Aquaman on a horse. I can be down.

39:17 – Aquaman better get his trident-chucking on with Daenerys’ brother as his first target…

40:48 – Does Lena Headey’s character have permanent stank face throughout this entire series?

42:22 – More Peter Dinklage! Bless this show!

43:28 – He’s sassy, he’s (drunkenly) sweet, he’s Peter Dinklage! (In all honesty, though, I’m liking where his character is going.)

43: 29 – But will someone PLEASE give Jon Snow a hug?! That handsome hangdog face is already too much.

45:21 – Gosh, Lena Headey, you don’t just ask young girls if they’ve “bled yet”…

52:03 – “Party Rock in the Dothraki house to-niiiiight…”

55:59 – Current dress envy: Daenerys Targaryen. Or, as I now understand, I can call her Khalessi…right?

57:24 – “If I get through this without scratching from one end or the other it will be a miracle.” Best quote of the episode courtesy of, of course, Peter Dinklage.

58:47 – How on earth was it possible for the dire wolf puppy to get that much cuter?! Do the puppies remain on the show? Do I get to look forward to seeing more puppies? (Am I slowly narrowing down my focus to one thing?...)

59:44 – MORE INCEST?! WHAT IS THIS, MEDIEVAL “FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC”?!

1:00:29 – Uh, maybe Aquaman should put his trident through Jamie Lannister too…

1:00:34 – Well, that’s a fun way to end a series premiere…

Closing Thoughts: It was as intriguing as I thought it would be, with a lot of interesting characters set up in a way that wasn’t too overwhelming. Even the whole team of sleazy incestuous brothers could make for some juicy plotlines. And if there’s Peter Dinklage and puppies, that you can bet your sword-wieldin’ hides that I’m in.

Now I only have…39 more episodes before I’m all caught up. I guess winter just got here…

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