12. The fungi garden of a fun guy!
See what I did there? The crazy-person-of-the-week in “Amuse-Bouche” buries diabetics (while they’re still alive) for fertilizer. I don’t think these mushrooms are of the magical variety.
11. Bev Katz goes to pieces.
It was bad enough to see our beloved Beverly killed off in “Mukozuke,” but to be strangled, frozen, sliced deli-style, AND become a psychotic art installation? May she rest in pieces.
10. Want some leg of you?
Hannibal has Abel Gideon eat his own leg. He put his foot in his mouth…literally. This occurs in season two, episode “Futamono.”
9. Miriam Lass’s woes.
It’s been a long time since my last entry. I was finally rescued today by Jack Crawford. He found me in a watery well. I was put there by a psychopath who spent the last TWO YEARS messing with my memories. Oh, and my captor cut off my arm for the hell of it. At least I was spared putting the lotion in the basket!
8. Careful what you cosplay (“Naka-Choko”)
Caution all killer cosplayers: This could happen to you. From the episode titled “Naka-Choko.”
7. Play it again, Sam…er…Will?
This man’s only crime was his musical skills. But let’s cut his throat open and play his vocal chords anyway. From season one, episode 8 titled “Fromage.”
6. Touched by an angel.
A vigilante poses his criminal victims as angels while he prepares to become one. After this, I think he might find the pearly gates locked. From season one, episode 5 titled “Coquilles.”
5. Horsin’ around.
“Is your social worker in that horse?”
Yes. And he just broke through the stitches and crawled out! Bleh. From season two, episode eight “Su-zakana.”
4. The Human Color Wheel.
A dude waking up after being sewn to a bunch of dead bodies and popping loose at the seams. Major design flaw! From season two, episode two “Sakizuke.”
3. All the nope.
I don’t think this was done tongue-in-cheek. My jaw hurts just looking at it. From season one, episode ten “Buffet Froid.”
Dear Mason Verger,
Your face is not Puppy Chow®.
A Traumatized Viewer
P.S. Don’t get me started on the nose…