15 Stages Of Finding Out You Are Gluten Intolerant

Don’t worry, it only lasts your whole life probably.

1. Your body has always been a bit strange.

It could just be you, right? Everyone has their quarks…

2. But then things start to get worse.

Suddenly your body has rebelled against you. A night out with pizza and beer is followed with a hangover to DEMOLISH all hangovers.

3. The toilet has become a constant companion.

On par with your grandpappy or childhood collie.

4. You decide to go to the doctor.

Probably just a bug you picked up while living an exciting and adventurous life.

5. Guess what? You’re Gluten Intolerant, buddy!

Of course the actual diagnosis takes weeks of tests and diet experimentation—which just prolongs the terrible realization.

6. What the hell is gluten anyway? Probably nothing that would require you to alter your life in any way.

So is there like a pill or something? Fix it doctor, I have a pizza party to go to.

7. But then your doctor tells you gluten is in everything you love to eat and there is NO CURE.

Pizza? Bagels? Cookies? NOPE NOPE NOPE.

8. NO. MORE. BEER.

Try not to freak out too much, but life as you know it is falling apart.

9. You break the news to your friends who try to be supportive despite having no idea what you’re talking about.

So…are potatoes gluten? Is this breath mint gluten?

10. Suddenly it seems like everyone is having a gluten party without you.

I guess I’ll just sit here alone while I chew on uncooked rice. THANKS, GUYS.

11. Until someone mentions something about gluten-free products. Bread, beer, could it really be that simple?

I’ll let my desperate and extremely biased taste buds do the testing…

12. Finding the gluten free section at the grocery store is super hard.

Oh, it’s by the seafood? Yeah, that makes sense. NOPE.

13. The breads aren’t too bad!

If you don’t mind very dense and crumbly bread. But whateves, this means sandwiches are back on the menu. Where did I store my panini maker?

14. Beers are something you’ll have to get used to.

But it’s STILL BEER, DAMNIT.

15. Life can finally move on.

Congratulations! You’ve transitioned into a gluten free lifestyle!!! Get cozy, IT’S FOREVER.

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