13 Times Taylor Swift Was Probably Singing About Sex

“I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands.” Well damn, get it, girl.

1. Fearless


Album: Fearless (2008)

I wonder if you know
I’m tryin’ so hard not to get caught up now
But you’re just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent mindedly makin’ me want you

Moral of the story: Make sure you have good hair. T-Swift likes that stuff.

2. Fifteen


Album: Fearless (2008)

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind
We both cried

Moral of the story: Taylor Swift wrote a lyric about her best friend’s deflowering because of course she did.

3. Jump Then Fall


Album: Fearless (Deluxe Platinum Edition) (2009)

Whoa, oh, I’m feeling you baby
Don’t be afraid to
Jump then fall
Jump then fall into me

Moral of the story: Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Tay.

4. Untouchable


Album: Fearless (Deluxe Platinum Edition) (2009)

Untouchable like a distant diamond sky,
I’m reaching out and I just can’t tell you why
I’m caught up in you, I’m caught up in you
Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun
And when you’re close I feel like coming undone

Moral of the story: Much metaphor. So Taylor.

5. Mine


Album: Speak Now (2010)

Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together,
And there’s a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded,
You say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes

Moral of the story: She gets a drawer! You know what that means… SLEEPOVERS.

6. Sparks Fly


Album: Speak Now (2010)

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down
Give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around
‘cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

My mind forgets to remind me
You’re a bad idea
You touch me once and it’s really something,
You find I’m even better than you imagined I would be

Moral of the story: The line, “Give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around,” sounds really hot tbh.

7. Better Than Revenge


Album: Speak Now (2010)

She’s not a saint
And she’s not what you think
She’s an actress
She’s better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress

Moral of the story: Don’t steal Taylor Swift’s boyfriend because she’ll call you out for it in clever rhymes.

8. State of Grace


Album: Red (2012)

You come around and the armor falls
Pierce the room like a cannonball
Now all we know is don’t let go
We are alone, just you and me
Up in your room and our slates are clean
Just twin fire signs
Four blue eyes

Moral of the story: Brush up on your astrology. What’s your sign?

9. Red


Album: Red (2012)

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all

Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song

Moral of the story: Re-re-re-red is sexy.

10. Treacherous


Album: Red (2012)

Put your lips close to mine
As long as they don’t touch
Out of focus, eye to eye
Till the gravity’s too much
And I’ll do anything you say
If you say it with your hands
And I’d be smart to walk away,
But you’re quicksand

I can’t decide if it’s a choice
Getting swept away
I hear the sound of my own voice
Asking you to stay
And all we are is skin and bone
Trained to get along
Forever going with the flow,
But you’re friction

Moral of the story: “I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands” has to be the most explicitly sexual lyric Taylor Swift has ever released.

11. I Knew You Were Trouble.


Album: Red (2012)

‘Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I’d never been
‘Til you put me down
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I’d never been
Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

Moral of the story: Where did he fly you to, Tay? A vacation sounds nice.

12. All Too Well


Album: Red (2012)

Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

Moral of the story: “Nights when you made me your own” is a sweet sentiment, but I only care about your scarf. Does he still have it in his drawer? Does it still remind him of innocence? Does it still smell like you? So many unanswered questions.

13. Girl At Home


Album: Red (Deluxe Edition) (2012)

I just wanna make sure,
You understand perfectly,
You’re the kind of man who makes me sad,
While she waits up,
You chase down the newest thing,
And take for granted what you have

And it would be a fine proposition,
If I was a stupid girl,
And yeah I might go with it,
If I hadn’t once been just like her

I see you turn off your phone,
And now you’ve got me alone,
And I say,
Don’t look at me,
You’ve got a girl at home,
And everybody knows that,
Everybody knows that

Call a cab,
Lose my number,
You’re about to lose your girl,
Call a cab,
Lose my number,
Let’s consider this lesson learned

Moral of the story: It’s kind of common sense, but you shouldn’t be propositioning Taylor Swift (or anyone, for that matter) while you’re in a relationship with someone else. Plus she’s totes not into that anymore.

T-Swizzle thanks you for your time!


(You didn’t really think you’d escape a Taylor Swift post without some awkward dancing, did you?)

:-*

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