9 Celebrity Feuds We Desperately Wish Existed

These feuds are not real, but since their pictures are next to each other with a "vs" in the middle, we can easily pretend. It's a dream come true, really. Catch your favorite dueling celebs in the newest season of All Star Celebrity Apprentice, premiering March 3rd on NBC.

1. Blossom vs. Lena Dunham

The voices of their respective generations. What would happen if youth problems of the nineties clashed with youth problems of the teens? A sob-fest of epic proportions, we're sure.

(Getty / Christopher Polk), (Courtesy of Disney - ABC Domestic Television)

2. Gary Busey vs. Charlie Sheen

Battle of the aging crazies! Which one is farther removed from grounded reality? Which one will be the first to eat a human heart? It's impossible to know.

(Getty / Frederick M. Brown), (Reuters / Gus Ruelas)

3. Paula Deen vs. Oprah

You want to hug them both, and you want them to tell you everything is going to be alright. You want Oprah to spoil you with her favorite things, and you want Paula to feed you spoonfuls of melted butter between bites of chicken nuggets. Put these two ladies together and there's bound to be bloodshed.

(AP / Peter Kramer, File), (Reuters / Andrew Kelly)

4. Tina Fey vs. Amy Poehler

Comedy titans, butting heads! Weekend update queens, network dominators, improv masters - ok. Fine. We don't really want them to fight. We just want them in the same room so that the inevitable collaboration can take place.

(AP / NBC, Ali Goldstein), (Getty / Larry Busacca)

5. Ryan Gosling vs. Channing Tatum

Because, I mean, you get it.

(Getty / Kevin Winter), (Barry Wetcher/Courtesy Open Road Films/MCT)

6. Jennifer Lawrence vs. Meryl Streep

The comment Jennifer made while accepting her Golden Globe this year - the "I beat Meryl" one - fell completely flat on the audience, because it sounded, well, childish. Turns out Jennifer was just quoting the movie First Wives Club. But we'll still watch them duel on the field of honor at dawn.

(AP / The Associated Press), (Reuters / Gus Ruelas )

7. Lil Jon vs. Donald Trump

"Y'fie-yahd."

"Huuuuwhat?"

"Y'FIE-YAHD."

"HOKAY."

(Courtesy of TVT/BME Recordings), (Reuters / Trump Organization)

8. Past Lindsay Lohan vs. Present Lindsay Lohan

Ah, youth. If twelve-year-old Lindsay could say one thing to her twenty-six-year-old self, what would it be? Get your shit together, Lindsay. Is what it would be.

(Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures), (AP / David McNew, Pool)

9. Gene Simmons vs. Richard Simmons

They might not be related, but we can see them fighting like a dysfunctional family during Thanksgiving dinner. Look at these two. They can't possible have any common ground.

(Courtesy of Casablanca), (Getty / Moses Robinson)

Celebrity Apprentice is Back! All Stars!

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Watch All Star Celebrity Apprentice March 3rd on NBC! You won't have to invent celebrity feuds. This show is full of them.