16 Of The Dumbest Excuses For Pokémon

You tried, Nintendo. You tried. posted on

1. Vanillish

Nintendo / Via pocketmonsters.net

This Pokémon is pretty blatantly an ice cream cone. Do not put this one in your pocket.

2. Honedge

Quick! Throw a poke ball at that… sword? That floating sword, that somehow evolves into a shield? SCIENCE.

3. Quilladin

Chespin is a cute starter until he evolves into this creepy clown. Quilladin is basically the personification (Pokémonification?) of puberty, that awkward cycle you go through between your adorable stage and your badass stage.

4. Klefki

At this point you honestly have to wonder if Nintendo ran out of ideas for new Pokémon and just started looking around their house for ideas. “Where are my keys? Oh, wait, they’re in my pocket. Hey… pocket… pocket monster… Pokémon… brilliant!”

5. Herdier

This is basically a scotty in a cape.

6. Audino

There’s nothing particularly unusual about this one, other than the fact that I’m pretty sure this is what Harry Potter’s Dolores Umbridge would look like as a Pokémon.

7. Cofagrigus

“What’s that one, Ted?”
“Oh it’s sort of a coffin / sarcophagus Pokémon. I’m calling it Cofagrigus.”

To be fair, though, if I were a Pharaoh of ancient Egypt, I would also want to be buried with my treasure of sticky hands and other vending machine prizes.

8. Sigilyph

What? I don’t… OK. Does this one even have a face? Is that an eye on top, or are those it’s eyes in the middle? What is this?

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s an “avianoid” Pokémon. Sure.

9. Garboder

This is literally a pile of garbage. Also ripoff of the far superior Marjory from Fraggle Rock.

10. Klink

Pokémon’s response to the Steampunk movement.

11. Escavalier

Honestly, this one just looks too cool to criticize, so I’m going to let it slide. Anything negative I could say just ends up sounding positive.

12. Chandelure

Someone Blue Skidooed into a Disney villain’s lair and stole their lighting fixture.

13. Mienfoo

All I see is Winnie the Pooh, if Christopher Robin took away his honey and enrolled him in a karate class.

14. Drifloon / Drifblim

This Pokémon is just a balloon with a toupée made from a cloud. There’s nothing particularly menacing about it, other than the vague possibility that if you stand too close to it after it evolves into Drifblim you may accidentally get carried off to Oz.

15. Shaymin

The only problem with this pokémon is that it is too cute to handle.

16. Croagunk

Nintendo / Via creativeuncut.com

Real talk: this pokémon straight up terrifies me. It shares just enough of a resemblance with No Face to make me uncomfortable every time it appears.

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