14 Awesomely Absurd Movie Posters From The Cannes Film Festival

There is a vampire musical staring a Backstreet Boy and a male Bridesmaids counterpart with Dustin Diamond and Metta World Peace. Seriously.

Every year, while the stars and auteurs come out for the Cannes Film Festival, the international industry gathers for Le Marché du Film — the market that happens at the same time, in the same building. While the fest is glitzy and prestigious, the Marché is all about business, with companies from around the world offering up movies that are sometimes serious, sometimes schlocky, and sometimes haven’t even been made yet.

Here are 14 highlights from the market this year. Brace yourselves.

1. Kamasutra 3D

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What you really want in your Indian erotic cinema is to see the action coming right at you.

2. The Bloody Indulgent

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The title for this “high-concept” vampire musical starring Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson makes jokes a little too easy.

3. Eat

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Here’s guessing this is not the kind of movie you watch during dinner.

4. He Never Died

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Black Flag frontman Henry Rollins stars alongside The Twilight Saga’s Booboo Stewart in this thriller.

5. Blood Lake

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They feed on one thing only…former Beverly Hills, 90210 cast members.

6. Bachelors

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This cast could not possibly get better.

7. Archie: Robodog

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When Skynet becomes self-aware, it’s going to be so embarrassed about this.

8. The Dead Men

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Entirely for the face Jackson Rathbone is making.

9. The Depend Bles

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A slightly more seasoned take on The Expendables.

10. Falcon Rising

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Not quite the Marvel character.

11. I Am a Wolf

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This Chinese animated movie may be aiming for Miyazaki, but its characters here are looking more like nightmare fuel.

12. Polanski

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Damian Chapa didn’t just write and direct this “unauthorized” biopic, he also cast himself as Roman Polanski.

13. Mantivities

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Chris Pine actually co-wrote this comedy, but it hasn’t been shot yet, so there’s still time for us to convince him that “mantivities” are not a thing.

14. Zoombies

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Sold.

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