25 Deeply Emotional Stages Of Re-Watching "Dumbo"

Disney sure don't make 'em like this anymore.

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So, you've decided to watch some Disney. What haven't you watched in a while? Of course, Dumbo! It's only an hour long, and from what you remember, it's awesome. Should be fun, right? Wrong. Well, kind of. You are going to go through the whole spectrum of human emotion in the next hour, and be exhausted afterwards.

25. First of all, they hit you with a load of disappointment.

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Poor, poor Mrs. Jumbo. All the other circus animals get their wee babies from the stork, in delightful little floating sacks, that gracefully float into their laps. She waits with bated breath for her new baby elephant that never arrived that fateful evening. Soul-destroying.

24. Then, a nice bout of claustrophobia.

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First, you're all like "OH GOD, THAT ELEPHANT'S BUTT IS NEVER GOING TO FIT" and then they give it a good heave, and she squeezes in. But you're still thinking, Jeez, that must be uncomfortable for all the elephants.

23. Next up, frustration.

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Get your shit, stork. You're already late, and now you're about to let your precious cargo sink through a cloud to it's death. Hurry up already, you have one job.

22. Here, have some overwhelming cuteness.

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Finally, he is delivered. He is the cutest thing to ever grace a movie screen. And all those stupid gossipy elephants laugh at him because of his super-cute sneeze that reveals his bitchin' ears. But Mrs. Jumbo shuts them up, looks at her new calf and you almost die because it's so adorable.

21. Then shit gets kinda serious.

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They build the big top in the thunder and lightening, and you forgot how scary it was. All the elephants and even little Dumbo work through the night, whilst singing the sinister, fairly racist song "Happy-Hearted Roustabouts." Dayum.

20. Ah, it's OK, we're back to cute.

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It's bath time and ERMAHGERD, I want to have a trunk so I can bathe like that.

19. Immediately followed by rage.

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Holy smokes. There they were, having a beautiful mother-son bonding moment, and some ugly buck-toothed punk starts blowing in Dumbo's ears like they're sails. And Mrs. Jumbo goes bat-shit crazy. You totally would do the same though. Leave him alone! And then they lock her up, and it's horrible.

18. And now, sadness.

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Dumbo has become an orphan. You weren't prepared for this.

17. But revenge is sweet.

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Timothy Mouse is the man. What a dude. He knows how to dish out some justice, and he totally gives the Gossip Elephants some comeuppance.

16. And things are beautiful again.

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Hooray, Dumbo has a new BFF! Dream. Team.

15. Don't get too comfortable, now we approach fear.

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After Timothy Mouse convinced the Ring Master to make an elephant pyramid (for some reason?!), it all goes wrong when Dumbo trips over his own ears and causes it to fall. Then there are terrifying scenes of enormous elephants falling all over the Big Top, and people running for their lives. Goodness me.

14. And we reach humiliation.

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Dumbo is made to be a clown, and it's humiliating. He has to jump through fire into a big vat of custard. And that dude keeps screaming "Saaaaave my baaaaaby!" and you can't even handle it.

13. Then we head into a deep, deep sadness.

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Timothy Mouse takes Dumbo to see his Mum to cheer him up, and it's the saddest thing ever. Like, REALLY sad. And you find yourself uncontrollably sobbing and wanting to call your mum.

12. Followed swiftly by a drunken stupor.

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I think we all needed a drink after that scene, to be fair.

11. Here it is: unbridled terror.

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The trippiest, most haunting, nightmare inducing scene in cartoon history. Pink Elephants On Parade.

10. Dear lord.

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9. I. CANNOT. COPE.

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8. STAHP.

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7. Then we're back into casual racism.

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They get so wasted that they end up in a tree, surrounded by Jim Crow and his crow-nies (geddit?). Seems legit.

6. But then Dumbo learns to fly, and we have unbridled joy!

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5. Hell yeah!

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4. Although admittedly, there are teething problems.

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"Magic Feather" my ass.

3. But Dumbo totally gets his revenge.

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2. Triumph!!

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1. And everyone lives happily ever after.

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THE END.

OH MY GOODNESS. SO MUCH EMOTION. Take a week off to gather yourself.