2.
If you love someone with a middle name "Hazelnut" and last name "Spread":
3.
If there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you happen to be a narwhal:
4.
If you're in a committed relationship with a four-legged life partner:
5.
If you planned the perfect date night:
6.
If you have balls in your life:
7.
If you lavish yourself with gifts like the amazing significant other you are:
8.
If Valentine's Day means one thing and one thing only:
9.
If you're in a healthy open relationship:
10.
If you know something about economics:
11.
If you are just too precious for this earth:
12.
If you have felt a missed connection:
13.
If you are perfectly fulfilled:
14.
If you've always been that BFF with millions of BFFs:
15.
If you're in a long distance relationship:
16.
If you know your own credentials:
17.
If grilled cheese is your thing on the side:
18.
If you spend most nights with a full-bodied vixen named Merlot:
19.
If you just know what you want:
Valentine's Day, go choke on a heart.
