Shit Nobody Says

1.

Free beer? No thanks.

2.

I hope I don’t get laid tonight.

3.

I want less Twitter followers.

4.

My internet is way too fast.

5.

I wish this class was longer.

6.

Mustaches look great on girls.

7.

I hate having fun.

8.

Waking up early is SO easy.

9.

Unprotected sex is so safe!

10.

I think Simon Cowell is one of the nicest judges I’ve ever seen