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1.
Free beer? No thanks.
2.
I hope I don't get laid tonight.
3.
I want less Twitter followers.
4.
My internet is way too fast.
5.
I wish this class was longer.
6.
Mustaches look great on girls.
7.
I hate having fun.
8.
Waking up early is SO easy.
9.
Unprotected sex is so safe!
10.
I think Simon Cowell is one of the nicest judges I've ever seen
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