1. Camp David (Frederick County, MD)
If Barack wants to, he and Mitt can have their second get-together at the President’s “country residence”, a government-owned compound in Maryland’s Catoctin Mountain Park. If Camp David was good enough for Jimmy Carter’s 1978 Mideast peace talks and hosting this year’s G8 summit, it’s plenty impressive enough for a “We Ran For President In 2012” Hangout.
2. The Bohemian Grove (Monte Rio, CA)
2,700 acres of NoCal paradise, the Bohemian Grove hosts an annual retreat every July for rich and powerful men. Outsiders trying to infiltrate this men’s club get arrested, so Obama and Romney should enjoy the kind of privacy Nixon and Reagan (pictured) had at the 1967 gathering.
3. This Skull and Bones retreat (Deer Island, NY)
You’re looking at just one part of forty beautiful acres in the St. Lawrence Seaway, on a private island owned by Yale’s most powerful secret society. It’s the ideal spot for Mitt and Barack to get in some quality guy time and meet America’s next several Presidents.
4. Suvretta House, site of the 2011 Bilderberg Conference (St. Moritz, Switzerland)
The Bilderberg Meetings are invitation-only yearly conferences held at lavish hotels, where North America and Europe’s most powerful men talk about fixing the world for the rest of us. Their 2012 Meeting happened in Chantilly, VA, which is boring. So Mitt and Barack should live a little, and play a round of singles tennis at this impossibly elegant Swiss hotel that hosted last year’s Bilderberg event.
5. Deauville, France, site of the 2011 G8 Summit
Deauville is a picturesque coastal town in Normandy, and the leaders of most of Earth’s richest countries decided it was luxurious enough to host last year’s G8 Summit. Maybe Obama can pull some strings there, because two Presidential types would love a cheap deal on rooms at Deauville’s five-star Le Hotel Royal Barriere, or at least a key to the pool area.
6. Hotel Okura, site of the 2012 Trilateral Commission Annual Meeting (Tokyo, Japan)
You’ve gotta have an Eastern Hemisphere chillaxing option when you’re the President, so how about the site of this year’s Trilateral Commission annual meeting for the Romney-Obama Chill Sesh Part Deux? Downtown Tokyo’s Hotel Okura offers a lobby straight out of the Mad Men ’60s, lavish amenities, and a Japanese garden where Mitt and Barack can really get away from it all.
7. Mitt’s place, of course (La Jolla, CA)
They hung out at the Obama house this first time, so it’d be rude if Romney didn’t offer to return the favor. Mitt’s home is a $12 million beach front pad that’s perfect for entertaining, and as much flak as Candidate Romney took for the car elevator, it’s that kind of luxury that makes Friend Romney the perfect host.