Real-Life Rose Nylund Swallows Diamond At Charity Gala

If this isn’t a modern day Golden Girls plotline then I don’t know what is.

1. This is a totally true story. Except the parts about the Golden Girls, sadly.

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2. Meet Miriam Tucker, here with her friends* Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia.

(She’s standing behind Sophia.)

*disclaimer: again, all Golden Girls references in this story are fictional.

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3. Miriam and her friends attended a glamorous charity gala in Tampa last week.

(Miriam’s not in this photo because she’s taking it, obvi.)

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4. The party featured a special competition to win a $5,000 diamond.


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5. The diamond sat in one special glass of $20 champagne.

Blanche thought she’d won it, but she hadn’t. She just got a crappy little cubic zircona like everyone else.

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6. Miriam won the diamond!


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7. One problem: she swallowed the prize.

She explained that, being a refined lady, she didn’t want to put her fingers in her champagne. So she took a quick little swig… and then realized she’d gulped the jewel down with it.

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8. Really though, what else could she have done?

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9. This is how Dorothy feels about the whole situation.

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10. And this is how Sophia feels.

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11. Poor Miriam had to explain what had happened to the gala’s organisers.

She felt so silly. Oh dear.

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12. Fortunately, she had a colonoscopy scheduled soon afterwards, because, you know…

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13. And so she had a doctor “recover” the pricy rock.

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14. So now she’s the proud owner of a one-carat diamond.


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15. And she (maybe, but probably not) cashed it in to buy a throne and paid these buff guys to be her pelvic-thrusting guards.

Get it, Miriam.

h/t HuffPo

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