1. Ugh. But what would her fairy godmothers think?
2. Also, this is NOT what we had in mind for you when you traded in your flippers, Ariel.
The brilliant (but still somehow childhood-ruining) illustrations come courtesy of Michele Moricci, drawn exclusively for Cosmopolitan.
See five more of the princesses over at cosmopolitan.com. You’ll never guess who’s straddling that wrecking ball… or wait, is that you’ll never WANT to guess who’s straddling that wrecking ball?
(Cogsworth would be just devastated.)