15 Things Alexander Wang Could Be Doing On The High Line In New York This Weekend

Making sense of a cryptic email/invitation from the fashion designer’s PR team.

“Excited” fashion journalists today received the following cryptic message from Alexander Wang’s PR team:

ID: 1346962


Good. Now get excited.

ID: 1347572

So, what could Alexander be up to on the High Line* this weekend?

*Yes, we’re aware the “special event” takes place at the HIGHLINE STAGES, but that’s just a dime-a-dozen showspace where all sorts of normal fashion parties happen. The possibilities on the actual High Line are much more exciting.

ID: 1347296

1. Waking up REAL early to snag one of those wooden chaise longues that are always in demand/hogged by tourists.

Those bitches have all inevitably been sat there for HOURS, just to spite other High Line visitors. That’s a fact.

ID: 1347476

2. Having a big chocolate fountain free-for-all!

ID: 1347303

3. Organizing a mini Hunger Games between would-be models wanting a spot in his next show’s runway.

ID: 1347353

4. Ogling the naked people you can see in The Standard Hotel’s windows if you look hard enough.

ID: 1347499

5. Judging a cronut eating competition.

Replace the cheeseburgers with cronuts, natch.

ID: 1347374

6. Or just judging you and your already sweat-stained summer wardrobe.

ID: 1347513

7. Letting a flock of Wang-branded sheep free to graze among the walkway’s grassy parts.

They’ll be rounded up and sheared later in the year, with their wool used in knitwear for the fall/winter 2014 Alexander Wang collection!

ID: 1347339

8. Flying some fashionable kites. Everyone loves kites.

ID: 1347619

9. Conducting an experiment to see how many Real Housewives will show up to an event that doesn’t promise canapes, just for the chance of being photographed.

ID: 1347644

10. Celebrating former Teen Wolf hottie Colton Haynes’ birthday!

(Colton turns 25 on Saturday, and everyone loves a birthday party/cake.)

ID: 1347385

11. Or celebrating the (possible) birth of the Royal Baby.

ID: 1347454

12. Giving some cats massages.

(This doesn’t really make sense tbh I just wanted to use this GIF.)

ID: 1347524

13. Playing hide and seek!

ID: 1347741

14. But most likely: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It’s far too hot to do anything outside these days.

(And, yes, that’s why Wang’s special event will be happening indoors somewhere nice and hopefully air-conditioned.)

ID: 1347542

15. Or, ok, this is also likely: convincing every fashion person in New York to stick around in the city this weekend so that the Hamptons will be quieter and much more relaxing.

Sussed you out, Wang. #sussedyouout.

ID: 1347718

Check out more articles on!

  Your Reaction?


    Now Buzzing