1. Chic printed sweat suits.
2. Matching his and hers looks.
3. Leather biker gloves.
4. And voluminous pants that would certainly cause an accident if you actually wore them while riding a motorbike.
5. Something that's been through a shredder.
6. Chain-link mini dresses that will only bring you misery.
7. And this intricately beaded neckline.
8. Slouchy loungewear and lots of pearls.
9. Slouchy eveningwear and lots of pearls.
10. This actually cute-looking ensemble.
11. And this floral romper suit.
12. Hangover sunglasses.
13. This jacket that will make you look like a member of the vacation resort's concierge staff.
14. Some cricket whites! To go with your Chanel-branded cricket bat, of course.
15. And cricket pads, as if cricket is actually cool these days.
16. Still more cricket-themed separates.
17. The top half of one of your grandmother's old twinsets.
18. Denim. Lots of denim.
19. Striped denim.
20. Oh, and some embroidered denim too.
21. Midriff-baring gypsy blouses.
22. And why stop at midriff-baring when you can just abandon shirts entirely?
23. Jewelry chunky enough to weigh you down at sea.
24. Some tweed!
25. Cropped trench coats. Why not?
26. In other outerwear: this textured leather coatdress.
27. Some sort of sequined, hooded evening gown.
28. The dressing gown you know you'll be stealing from your hotel room/cabin.
29. And an actual swimsuit! Just the one, mind you. And it's paired with heels.
Meanwhile, this is what Karl will be wearing.
See the full Chanel 2014 resort collection at style.com.