All members are rated on a scale of 1—10, with half of the score determined by how badass they are and the other half determined by their prettiness.
Overall Score: 7
Dance, Water, Dance! Demyx’s Kingdom Hearts II boss battle had a minigame that made him almost impossible to beat, but his wimpy persona was the opposite of hardcore. He does however get props for having that shaved-on-the-side, long-on-the-top haircut way before the hipsters even thought to ask their barbers for that signature fade.
Overall Score: 7.25
Luxord gets pretty points for accessorizing and guyliner, as well as being the only member of Organization XIII to understand the power of a well-trimmed beard. His dancing cards were a rough battle to get through, and his “gambling man” attitude made him one of the suaver denizens of the World That Never Was.
Overall Score: 7.5
Xemnas is the baddie’s baddie —the monster underneath every other villain’s bed. He gets half a point docked for his vaguely whiny endgame speech in KH II. Also, while his hair isn’t completely on point it’s clear that he took some styling tips from Sephiroth. Good call.
Overall Score: 8.25
Larxene is a heinous, scheming villainess and it’s impossible not to admire her for it. She jabs for the jugular with emotional insults and sadistically points out people’s flaws while keeping her slicked-back runway look on point at all times. They don’t call her the “Callous Vixen” for nothing.
Overall Score: 8.25 (tied with Larxene)
It’s not just the pink hair. It’s the grace, it’s the charm, it’s the devastating way he eviscerates your defenses while coming after your blood and emerging completely unscathed. Marluxia probably smells like a garden: a garden full of noxious, beautiful plants.
Overall Score: 8.5
Zexion is the Nobody equivalent of a cute librarian who looks good and hates your guts…but the important information here is that he looks really, really good. His logical focus on research and stone-cold exterior make him a formidable foe, and if you weren’t sold on Sexy Zexy by now; remember that his weapon of choice is a big-ass book. Gotta love a boy who reads.
Overall Score: A perfect 10!
Axel is hands down the coolest AND prettiest Nobody in Organization XIII. He’s got those bad-boy teardrop tattoos, the spiky red hairdo, and an attitude that’s best likened to sexy gravel—sexy gravel that’s on fire and is also trying to get in your pants. In a good way. Even though he softens up as the series progresses, his tender moments with best buddy Roxas only highlight how much of a badass he is the rest of the time.
- The CIA has officially—but very quietly—admitted that some allegations about its torture program were true.
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire 🇺🇸