1. People call you out on your lack of youthful enthusiasm.
2. You always complain about bars being too loud.
3. If you could spend the rest of your life in a tattered, but comfy bathrobe you'd be fine with that.
4. You don't understand people who have the energy to go out all the time.
5. Most new trends make you lose your faith in humanity.
6. You do experience happiness and joy but you're not great at expressing them.
7. All of your celebrity crushes are of the silver fox variety.
8. People always say you look angry and that's because you're always fucking angry.
9. Same goes for people saying, "You look tired." You are never not tired.
10. Your ideal night involves staying indoors, wearing slippers, and bourbon.
11. You're not great at the dating thing because you straight-up don't like most people.
12. You don't think baby photos on Facebook are cute. At all.
13. Children aren't any better.
14. God forbid anybody ask you what you think of the teens.
15. You have used the phrase "get off my lawn" and meant it.
16. You secretly judge your neighbors based on how noisy they are.
17. You would rather nap than do anything else, ever.
18. You feel a spiritual connection to the old dude from Up.
19. You're not sure what your Patronus would be but you've narrowed it down to Oscar the Grouch...
20. ...Grumpy Cat...
21. ...and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
