1. A lot of your teenage years were spent drinking tinnies and dicking about in the park.
2. There was an intense and very real rivalry between the local schools.
3. You can walk through the town centre and recognise people you’ve never actually met.
You've probably made up nicknames for the more extravagant ones.
4. You get really excited when you meet someone and find out they’re from near you.
5. And then spend ages finding out who your mutual friends are.
6. A pub changing hands or a shop closing down was always a massive deal.
7. If you wanted to go clothes shopping, you had to travel to the nearest city.
8. And making that trip always felt super exciting.
9. You and your friends have dated a lot of the same people.
10. If something scandalous happened, it only took a couple of days before basically the whole town knew the gossip.
11. You know every single pub in your town, and more importantly, whether they’re worth going to.
12. But you probably settled on a local years ago, and feel kind of bad when you stray.
13. Describing where you’re from when you’re abroad is basically impossible.
14. If you've moved away, you silently judge the people who stayed.
15. And if you've stayed, you vocally judge the “traitors” who moved away.
16. You spent a lot of time hanging out in shops like Virgin Megastore and HMV, staring at discount DVDs.
17. There was never greater uproar than when people discovered plans to build houses on “our lovely, green fields”.
18. The local newspaper was always mind-numbingly boring.
19. Except when it wasn’t.
20. You have a strong allegiance to a particular supermarket chain, which is based largely on whichever was nearest to your house.
21. One of the strongest memories from your childhood is boredom.
22. And you’d always complain to your mum that there was “nothing to do here”.
23. You like to joke about how shitty your town is.
24. But someone else slagging it off? Nope, that’s not on.
25. Because it’s not just a shitty town, it’s your shitty town – and you’ll always be happy to go back.
