1. Hair gel. Way too much hair gel.
2. Thinking the key to getting girls was spraying yourself with disgusting amounts of Lynx Africa.
3. Destroying your school shoes by playing football on the field at lunch.
4. Spending a lot of time like this.
5. And this cause of literally hundreds of arguments.
6. Trying to stick as much loo roll as possible to the ceiling of the school toilets.
7. Fucking birthday beats.
8. Snorting lines of sherbet and thinking you were a total badass.
9. Spending a lot of time cutting off people’s heads with the katana sword on GTA Vice City.
10. Or hanging out with Olly the Magic Bum on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.
And trying to collect all those goddamn C-O-M-B-O letters.
11. But best of all, being able to slide tackle the goalie on FIFA.
12. Only having one real life goal: completing your Premier League sticker album.
13. Dressing head to toe in surf brands like Quiksilver, Saltrock and Animal.
Bonus points for one of those canvas belts or a chain hanging from your jeans.
14. This absolute truth.
15. Kids turning deodorant cans into flamethrowers in the school changing rooms.
16. And also using them to give people horrible freeze burns.
17. Which were pretty similar to the injuries you'd get whenever you played football on the astro.
18. People constantly smacking each other in the dick, which meant you had to walk around guarding your balls at all times.
19. Spending ages perfecting your fantasy football team, only to inevitably give up before Christmas.
20. Frosty Jack’s, White Lightning, warm Strongbow and cans of Carling.
21. Playing the game where someone had to try and fight their way to the back of the bus.
22. Calling your mates whipped if they decided to hang out with their girlfriend instead of “the lads”.
23. Smacking your friends as hard as you could whenever you saw a yellow car.
24. Fantasising about a “mental” lads’ holiday to Magaluf or Ayia Napa – even if you never actually got to go.
25. Trying and normally failing to flirt over MSN.
26. Trying and normally failing to flirt IRL.
27. And finally, drawing dicks on everything. Because dicks are hilarious.
