1. Drunk you should never be allowed in the kitchen.
2. Especially when it involves using any "utensils".
3. Drunk you gives the worst gifts.
4. And is BAD at feeding the dog.
5. Drunk you is an asshole to the delivery guy.
6. Drunk you should never be trusted to keep anything safe.
7. Because drunk you has very little sense of logic.
8. And no matter how hard you try, you will never understand their motives.
9. Drunk you has no concept of time.
10. Drunk you has terrible taste in food.
11. And definitely isn't ready to be trusted with a phone.
12. Drunk you is terrible at doors.
13. Really terrible at doors.
14. And even worse at beds.
15. Drunk you will make sober you think they've done you a favour, but they never really have.
16. Drunk you should never be allowed on Facebook.
17. And makes dubious plans for the future.
18. Drunk you is a little bit creepy, tbh.
19. Drunk you is a fucking useless mess.
20. Most of the time, drunk you doesn't even have a clue what's going on.
My mother is drunk. I walked in to the kitchen to find her having aligned the potatoes in size order.
21. Drunk you is pretty much just out to get you.
22. But more than anything, drunk you is just a massive, massive idiot.
