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21 Of The Funniest One-Liner Jokes Ever Told

1. British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.

2. Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets.

3. The pollen count, now that's a difficult job.

4. My wife told me: "Sex is better on holiday."

5. I once dated a guy so dumb he couldn't count to 21.

6. I could tell my parents hated me.

7. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.

8. I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died.

9. I have a lot of growing up to do.

10. Onions make me sad.

11. I'm on a whiskey diet.

12. Even the word "misogyny" is misogynistic.

13. A girl called me the other day and said, "Come over, nobody's home", so I went over.

14. My photographs don't do me justice.

15. I want to write a mystery novel.

16. As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day.

17. Exit signs.

18. Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is?

19. Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict.

20. I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs.

21. I've got a girlfriend. I've been going out with her for...

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