1. You find yourself dealing with people who insist your name is either “definitely a boys’ name” or “only a girls’ name.”
What are you, like, a name scientist? Some sort of genius name professor?
2. Chances are, having a unisex name makes it more likely to have a fellow Alex, Chris, or Sam at work, in school, or among your group of friends.
…Which means a chorus of “Who…me?” every time someone calls your name.
3. You know from experience that personalized novelty items are forged in hell.
You know the struggle of finding a name key chain or novelty tiny license plate or personalized fanny pack, only to find that it’s decorated with stereotypical “boyish” or “girly” designs like race cars or flowers — usually whichever one you didn’t want on your personalized fanny pack.
4. You know it’s that much harder to find a song with your name in it to sing to yourself.
Into a hairbrush. Alone. It’s fine.
5. You’ve been called both “sir” and “ma’am” in emails and phone calls often enough to barely even notice.
Live beyond the binary.
6. Sometimes you’ll find people trying to “feminize” or “masculinize” your name, either through a cutesy nickname or different spelling.
No thanks, we’re good.
7. You’ve known the exquisite pain (or mild annoyance, whatever) of being referred to as “She-Your Name” or “He-Your Name.”
We know the new Thor feels our pain.
8. Since some unisex names have a sort of “ebb and flow” when it comes to whether they’re more closely associated with male or females, sometimes you have to patiently deal with being the only guy in a sea of girls with your name, or vice-versa.
Stay strong, male Ashleys. Your time will come. Again.
9. …And you likely have one famous person with your name that’s your go-to when pointing out that you’re not “weird” for having the name you do.
Leslie Nielsen is basically the patron saint of this.
10. If your name has alternate spellings — like Tony or Toni — you may find that people are forever getting it wrong.
Be patient with them, and think of how many people spelled “Zeus” or “Beyoncé” wrong on the first try.
11. Sometimes you’ll deal with people giving you an impromptu history lesson on your name’s masculine or feminine origins.
And it’s just, like, do you think we’ve never Googled our own names before? Constantly?
12. …Or maybe giving impromptu history lessons on your name is something you’ve been guilty of doing yourself.
We forgive you.
13. You’ll find that some people make assumptions about how “girly” or “manly” you are based on your name.
Pray for those basic fools; they know not what they do.
14. If you date the opposite sex, you’ve sometimes (secretly?) fantasized about dating a guy or girl with your same name.
It’s not narcissism, because it’s not ME.