1. Smelling your dog's dinner from five years ago on its breath every time your pup kisses you.
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2. Watching in horror as your dog gets excited to see you.
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3. Watching in even more horror as your dog gets excited to see all of your guests.
He just really, really loves your mother-in-law.
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4. Smelling poop but not finding it.
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5. The realization that it's not a matter of if, but when your dog will eat its own vomit.
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6. Watching in defeat as you realize your dog has scooted its butt alllll over everything you love.
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7. Two words: Dog. Farts.
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8. Two more words: Dog butts.
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9. Trying not to gag when feeling the warmth of your dog's business through a poop bag.
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10. That moment you learn that female dogs, too, have times of the month if they're not spayed.
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11. Kissing your dog and being rewarded with a sneeze.
It's like a scene from Aliens.
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12. If you have a wrinkly-faced dog, you recall that moment you discovered that all kinds of nightmares live in those folds.
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13. The moment you realize that, yes, that smell is normal. And that's when your dog is clean.
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14. Discovering that your walls now have a vibrant yellow pattern.
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15. Learning that your dog likes to watch.
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And the single grossest moment that comes with being a dog owner....
16. The moment you realize you love your dog so much it's practically disgusting.
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