1. You are constantly trying to perk the smaller boob up a bit more.
2. If you're unsuccessful, the larger boob takes over the world.
3. Your friends like to point out the obvious when it comes to your girls.
4. If you catch someone staring for too long you get self-conscious.
5. You wish that you could buy a bra with extra push-up in just one side.
6. One larger breast = one heavier breast = isolated shoulder pain.
7. Wearing tight clothes draws attention to the issue at hand.
8. And forget about printed tees. Too much tension on one side makes for a distorted result.
9. Boob jiggle is not proportionate.
10. Which also makes loose tops kind of a mess.
11. The smaller boob's bra cup becomes a crumb vessel due to extra space in the top.
12. Wearing a tank top is basically a tug of war between your two boobs, and the larger boob is always going to win.
13. You get real salty when you mention your asymmetry to your friends and they don't feel the same pain.
14. You feel like the person you're dating is probably paying a huge amount of attention to your uneven goodies.
15. Trying to make cleavage when flat-chested is hard enough as it is. Add in unevenness and it's a damn mess.
16. You have referred to Google at least once (OK, more than once) for tips on how to get one boob to grow.
17. No matter how pretty you try to make your boobs look (in or out of a shirt), disappointment in their differences always prevails.
18. When you're getting naked with someone for the first time, your immediate reaction is to check on what the girls are doing.
19. You have tried to sleep on one side of your body so that your tinier boob will stretch out overnight.
20. You sometimes try to contour your boobs with makeup, with emphasis on the smaller goodie.
21. You worry about the inevitable sag of your boobs as you age and wonder if the larger one is going to look completely different.
But though they may be uneven, they are YOURS.
