1. Okay, GPS, take me the shortest route.
2. …And we’re cruising.
3. Why is everyone stopping?
4. Wait, those are a lot of brake lights.
5. Ugh, noooooo.
6. Oh okay, it’s moving.
7. Shoot, never mind.
8. This is soooo slow.
9. Why is the middle lane moving faster?
10. Maybe I’ll move over.
11. Okay, this is good.
12. Wait now the left lane is moving faster!
13. Why did I leave it?!
14. I’m going back to the left lane.
15. Please let me in sir!
16. I have my blinker on!
18. Finally. Thanks!
19. Omg I swear the middle lane is faster again.
20. I’m so not moving this time.
21. Why is this the only lane at a complete stand still?!
22. This is so frustrating.
23. My brakes sound horrible.
24. These trucks are moving around like they’re Smart cars.
25. Ahhhh, don’t hit me.
27. Ugh, I need to get to the right for that exit.
28. Excuse me again, everyone!
29. Let me in please!
30. Okay, exit in two miles.
31. This is going to take forever.
32. “Delays Ahead”? No kidding, sign.
33. I’m so tired from pushing the brake pedal.
34. Sir, you cannot use that exit ramp to go around me.
35. Sir, please.
37. Oh great, now you’ve started a trend!
38. I’m not letting any of you in.
39. OMG, get away from my car.
40. You’re going to hit me!
42. Everyone is so inconsiderate.
43. Oh, I’m glad you got a full two cars in front of me!
44. Yeah, you’re getting home sooo much faster.
46. Only one and a half miles to go.
47. I’m going to die on this highway.
48. I’m so hot, I need AC.
49. This is the most frustrating day of my life.
50. OMG STOP USING THE EXIT RAMPS TO GET IN FRONT OF ME!
51. The sun is so blinding right now.
52. My stupid visor won’t cover the sun.
53. This is misery.
54. I need the radio.
55. Oooh, I love this song.
56. Oh man, it’s over.
57. AH! Oh my gosh, they almost crashed.
58. This is a battlefield.
59. One more mile of this hell.
60. You just cut me off!
61. Don’t buy a Suburban if you don’t know how much space you need to change lanes!
62. I really have to pee.
63. All of this stopping and starting is killing my bladder.
64. Sir, please close the three inch gap between you and the car in front of you.
65. He’s not moving up.
66. Why are you not moving up?!
67. I’m honking, I don’t even care anymore.
68. Thank you for moving up, sheesh.
69. Really, again?!
70. MOVE UP.
71. I’m getting around this idiot.
72. OMG he’s on his freakin phone!
73. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND MOVE UP!
74. I hate everybody.
75. One more mile.
76. I need to get back into the right lane.
77. There’s no break in between cars!
78. This is the epitome of stress.
79. Ow, I need to peeeeeee.
80. Aw, that old lady is letting me in.
81. Thank you!
82. Oh oops, she’s not happy.
84. I can’t believe how long this is taking.
85. Okay, this is the last exit before mine, let’s go, people.
86. Oh. My. Gosh.
87. Are those police lights?
88. Is this traffic or rubbernecking?
89. I SAID IS THIS TRAFFIC OR RUBBERNECKING?!
90. What the heck is going on up there?
91. OH MY SWEET LORD THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF RUBBERNECKING!
92. Everybody move, there’s nothing to see!
93. Let’s go, I need to pee!
94. Everyone needs to stop staring at this accident.
95. I’m going to lose my shit in a second.
96. Oh wow, look at that accident.
97. Hmm, everyone looks alright.
98. But those cars, wow.
99. Scary stuff.
100. STOP BEEPING AT ME I’M LOOKING AT THE ACCIDENT!
101. Everyone is so mean!
102. Well, that was awful.
103. Traffic sucks.
104. At least it’s over.
105. Homeward bound!