1. What a beautiful Monday!
2. Pain-free and not a single migraine in the last four days.
3. Look at everyone being so happy.
4. And blurry.
5. Maybe I should put on my glasses.
6. Everyone is still blurry…
8. I’m getting another migraine.
9. Is my boss waving at me?
10. I can’t tell because I’M LOSING MY VISION!
11. Why does this happen to me at work?
12. God, please, have mercy on me! I beg of you!
13. I should take those “prevention” pills.
14. They are bullshit, but it won’t hurt to take them.
15. Ugh, I can’t even look at my computer screen.
16. These yellow spots, halos are getting in the way of life!
17. Why do bad things happen to good people?
18. I feel like a thousand paparazzi just flashed their cameras at me.
19. Oh, no. The room is spinning now.
20. Are there any sleeping pods in this office?
21. No? Ok, I’ll just have to endure this one.
22. I don’t know what is worse, the nausea, the pain or the vision loss?
23. ALL OF THEM ARE TERRIBLE.
24. I’ll probably lose like 10 lb. with this migraine and all the vomiting.
25. Since I won’t be able to retain I shouldn’t even bother eating.
26. BRB, I need to… * runs to the restroom *
27. Every time I vomit it’s like someone shoots me in the head with a shotgun.
28. Good, I’m regaining my vision.
29. Oh, my boss was waving at me.
30. I’m feeling very weak right now, I think I’m going to pass out.
31. Every light and every sound will be the end of me.
32. Who attached speakers to everyone’s vocal chords?!
33. Ya’ll need to learn how to whisper. Seriously.
34. And can we dim the lights to OFF?
35. Also, it might be against policy, but can I maybe lock myself in the supply closet and nap for a couple of hours?
36. Fine. If anyone needs me I’ll be here at my desk dying.
37. If anyone has any illegal drugs that will help, please bring them my way.
38. Just kidding, but not.
39. Who do I have to thank for this curse?
40. MY MOM.
41. I love her SO much, but why couldn’t I’ve inherited green eyes instead.
42. I should wear a sign that reads: DO NOT DISTURB!
43. All these people wanting to talk to me like they know me.
44. I’m sorry for the words I speak out of pain.
45. Every slight move I make sends jolts all over my skull.
46. Why am I even rubbing my head. It doesn’t help!
47. Find your inner peace, find your inner peace. * repeats to self 10 times *
48. Shit, I have a two hour long meeting? TORTURE!
49. My answer to any question will be, “Ummm. Kill me?”
50. Does anyone have a wet towel I can place on my head?
51. Or an iceberg?
52. Ear plugs and a sleeping mask would also be great.
53. I wish I could crack my head open and manually remove the migraine.
54. No, I’m not leaving work. Thanks for asking.
55. I will survive!
56. Kill me now.
57. I’ll just tell people, “I’m fine,” but what I really mean is I’m slowly dying.
58. No one knows how I feel right now. NO ONE.
59. No, a headache is not the same as a migraine. So stop trying to empathize with me.
60. I’d laugh if I had the strength, but Ibuprofen will NOT take this pain away.
61. Only a miracle can relieve this pain from hell!
62. Oprah?! Dr. Phil?! Dr. Oz?! Can anybody help?!
63. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
64. Actually, I would.
65. Jackhammers are drilling into my head! MAKE. IT. STOP.
66. It’s been like six hours. How much longer do I have to deal with this?!
67. I raise my white flag. I surrender! I cannot stand this anymore!
68. I’m going home and going into a deep slumber.
69. I should write a book on this someday.
70. The title would be “That One Time I Almost Died (Everyday): A Story About Surviving A Migraine.”
71. In the mean time, sleep.
72. Goodnight cruel world, I may or may not see you in the morning.