1. Growing up with an older brother meant you were always the butt of the joke.
ALWAYS taken advantage of.
2. You would always get punished for something you didn’t do because he knew how to manipulate your parents more than you did.
Mom: “Who painted the dog blue?”
You: “Not me!”
Wrong, it was you. Not your brother. It’s always you.
3. You had to play all by yourself because your brother was too busy playing with kids his own age.
He was too cool to play Pokémon cards with you, he would rather play Grand Theft Auto.
4. New clothes wasn’t an option for you. All your “new clothing” was your brother’s old clothing.
If it was too big for you, “Don’t worry, you’ll grow into it.”
5. You have trust issues because of that one time he gave you dog food and convinced you it was cereal.
6. You lived in fear because you never knew how your brother would creep up on you and scare you.
You are now traumatized of clowns, chainsaws, spiders, snakes, and the list goes on and on.
7. After all, he was an expert at making your nightmares come to life.
Always check inside the closet and under your bed. And always be armed with a baseball bat.
8. He never gave up in finding creative ways to convince you that you were adopted.
Your parents would always rush to console you and tell you otherwise while your brother stood in the corner with a smirk on his face and without any remorse.
9. Your brother’s dangerous stunt required a human volunteer. OK, no problem. He would use you.
End result: You crying, a few scratches and perhaps some life-long scars.
10. You were always the victim of all his evil jokes.
Whether it was an alien attack or the death of your pet, you would always believe what your brother said despite the numerous lies he had told you in the past.
11. You were also the target of physical abuse or as your brother would call it “brotherly love.”
It looked bad, but you would come out A-OK! He only meant to show you his love.
12. “But I want to walk ahead…” Nope! You are the youngest, therefore inferior and all your arguments were always invalid.
Sometimes you still struggle to voice your opinion.
13. You always had the never-ending argument of “I’m the favorite child” with him.
But deep down you know that you are the favorite.
14. You had so many fights with him in which you would end up crying and your parents forced you to hug it out.
You gave each other enough time to regain your strength so you could go at it again later.
15. The pointless fights NEVER ended.
And you hardly ever got a victory.
16. You would often times try to seem tougher than you were.
17. Your parents had to find creative ways to make you get along.
18. Fighting over the remote was a daily routine.
He wanted to watch his basketball game and you wanted to watch Pokémon. He always won, you always lost.
19. When playing video games you had no choice but to be player two and get the controller with the broken joy stick.
20. He never gave you a decent Christmas present.
Most times it was a gag gift or something he simply didn’t want anymore.
22. Sharing is not your best quality because of that one time he never returned your scooter, and that one time you broke his action figure.
After that, he would never lend you anything and in return you wouldn’t either.
23. He owes you hundreds of dollars because that’s how he convinced you to do things.
“I’ll give you a dollar if you go get me a cereal from the kitchen.” OK, brb!
24. You thought twice before doing something to him because he would get back to you and it would be 10 times worse.
You better start running and find a good place to hide.
25. But although he took all your food…
He made you cry each and every single time and he would enjoy every minute of it.
26. And although he tortured you constantly…
All those wedgies and noogies you had to tolerate…
27. Your brother has secretly looked after you…
“Here, before mom and dad come home. And don’t tell them I gave you this!”