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“Nipple” Is The Sex App No One Asked For And It’s Quite Extraordinary

Nipple. Nipple.

2. Once you’ve signed up to Nipple, you can input information about what you’ve been up to today.

3. And what you used while you did it.

4. And how it was for you.

5. And where you did it. Exactly where you did it.

“Parents bedroom”.

6. And who you did it with.

7. And how long it lasted and whether or not you came and whether you used protection.

8. And as a result, not only will you have an extremely detailed diary of your sexual escapades, you’ll have STATS. To analyse.

These will include your average location, duration, and preferred implements.

9. You’ll also have NIPPLE POINTS. To show other, um, Nipplers.

10. These people are leading the Nipple leaderboard.

Well done them.

11. And that is Nipple. Nipple.

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Alan White is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
 
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