1. Fact: Boners are largely terrible. Firstly, they appear in the morning when you want to pee, yet stop you from peeing.
Marvel / Toei / Via imgur.com
2. Or at least just turn the whole process into something messy and awful.
3. Hence you resort to desperate measures.
7. They also pop up to say hello when you’re close to other people, whether you fancy them or not.
9. There is genuinely neither rhyme nor reason as to why they appear.
CBS / Via imgur.com
10. But be under no illusions. The boner is always there. Watching. Waiting.
11. If you nap for just a second, the boner has you in its clutches.
13. They also look ridiculous. No one has ever looked good with a boner.
14. No one finds boners sexy. No one.
Alan White is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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