23 Things That Would Happen If Knitters Ran The World

Vogue Knitting Live is an enormous convention that takes place in New York, Seattle, and Chicago every year. It’s basically prom, Pinterest, and paradise for knitters all rolled into one. posted on

1. There would be beautiful, colorful yarn as far as the eye could see.

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Also: cozy, snuggly, can’t-keep-your-hands-off-it yarn.

2. Real food would be totally passé in the face of crocheted food.

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3. (Which would be OK because look how happy it is).

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By Nicole Gastonguay.

4. People would gather from around the country…

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5. …and from across the globe.

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No matter where you come from or how you learned, making things is a language anyone can speak.

6. Enormous doilies would threaten to overwhelm the entire earth.

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Ashley Blalock’s pieces are bigger than you.

7. Mermaids would be mos def real.

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Just go with it. By Colette Smith.

8. Knits would glow as if lit by an inner light.

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Which, as in the case of these knitted glass sculptures by Carol Milne, it quite literally was.

9. Famous writers would come together to discuss their love for knitting.

Ann Hood edited this truly delightful collection of pieces, and writers including Barbara Kingsolver read theirs aloud at a panel during the convention.

“For the purpose of these four days,” Kingsolver said, smiling, “I am not a writer who knits — I am a KNITTER!”

10. Every animal would breathe a sigh of relief, because their pelts would no longer be hunted.

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Ruth Marshall knits versions of endangered species’ pelts to call attention to illegal skin trading.

11. Games of chess would become wildly imaginative flights of fancy.

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This board, by Going Gnome, featured an in-progress game that passersby were asked not to interfere with.

12. Barbie and Candy Crush would be replaced by these lovingly hand-knit toys.

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Alanna Okun / BuzzFeed

 

By Anna Hrachovec, who’s also responsible for the teeny-tiny denizens of Mochimochi Land.

13. Plunging your toilet would stop being the worst.

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And start being the cutest. By Anna Hrachovec.

14. Nature would take a cue from its fibrous friends.

 

This incredible garden was created by the ridiculously talented crafters of Colorful Stitches in Lenox, Mass.

15. Mundane objects like film rolls and calculators would have a new lease on life.

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They’re the brainchildren of crochet artist Nicole Gastonguay, who understands the innate power of a pair of eyes.

16. Hats would be so, so much more than mere head coverings.

 

Kelly Fleek’s toppers are part work of art, part cozy winter accessory, part awesomely writhe-y alien being come to rule over us all.

17. Swants would reign supreme.

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Sweaters + pants = swants, and you should probably definitely make a pair yourself.

18. Even avant-garde fashion would be knitted.

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Alanna Okun / BuzzFeed

 

These were on display as part of a student designer showcase and it took every last ounce of willpower not to steal the backpack.

19. Like, extremely avant-garde.

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Designer Gabriella Serigatto does things with fiber you’ve probably never thought were possible.

20. Which obviously requires knitting fashion shows.

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Including an audience full of people contentedly crafting away.

21. Everyone would be super willing to help you learn new skills.

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This table was packed all day with people of all ages sitting down to navigate sticks and string for the first time. (And, of course, with those helping them out.)

22. (No matter how hard the skill in question.)

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I took a double-knitting class with Stitch ‘n Bitch author (and BUST editor) Debbie Stoller. She warned us at the beginning of class that it would probably feel “like learning to knit all over again,” and she wasn’t wrong — the totally reversible, two-color process was insanely difficult, but we ended class with a much better feel for the technique and a few inches of work to show for it.

23. This would be the motto of every country, state, and human.

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PREACH.

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