18 Things You Probably Shouldn’t Make Out Of Jeans

Recycling is wonderful, but please remember: denim is for butts, not for shoes or plants.

1. Planters

The whole point of nature is that it doesn’t have to wear pants.

3. Stools

This looks like it could murder you.

5. Potholders

Oh, very.

7. Purses

You’re essentially rummaging around in a crotch every time you need your Chapstick.

8. Couches

On the bright side, if you lose anything in the couch you can always just check one of the many pockets.

9. Chairs

And you’ll never have to worry about leaving a jeans stain (known in some circles* as a “juke stain”.

*Unclear which circles

11. Christmas Stockings

Merry Christmas from your butt.

12. Bikinis

Denim yarn should be deployed sparingly. (Although not this sparingly.)

14. Lace-Up Jorts

15. This.

Cool change purse.

18. Uggs

There is a strong chance that these violate the Geneva Conventions.

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