17 Matzoh-Inspired Crafts You Can Own

Just in time for Passover. Because the best skateboards and iPhone cases are unleavened.

1. Matzoh Apron

To keep matzoh crumbs from getting all over your matzoh dress. Buy it here.

ID: 936377

2. Matzoh Baby Onesie

To show the world that your precious offspring is, in fact, kosher for Passover. Available here.

ID: 936379

3. Matzoh Skateboard

XCORE. Available here.

ID: 936476

4. Matzoh House for Your Collection of Adorable Anthropomorphized Plagues

Locusts have never looked so huggable. Available here.

ID: 936396

5. Matzoap

It’s soap. It’s also vegan, so, cool.

ID: 936401

6. Matzoh Yarmulke

Available here.

ID: 936404

7. Matzoh Tie

For the dad who has everything, except yeast. Available here.

ID: 936435

8. Seder Earrings

Available here.

ID: 936408

9. Matzoh Lumbar Pillow

Perfect for reclining during your seder. Available here.

ID: 936457

10. Matzoh iPhone Case

Available here.

ID: 936412

11. Matzoh Manicure

This is not, strictly speaking, a craft, but it IS wondrous and terrifying. Find out how to do it at Fuck Yeah Nail Art.

ID: 936443

12. Matzoh Napkin Rings

The best part of this DIY is that the instructions suggest going to your local copy store and photocopying a piece of real matzoh.

ID: 936448

13. Matzoh Baby Outfit

That’s up for debate. Available here.

ID: 936459

14. Matzoh Toilet Seat Cover

Not to be indelicate, but again: debatable. Available here.

ID: 936527

15. Matzoh Spreading Knives

Perfect for spreading butter or jam on your fourth piece of matzoh of the day, weeping internally as your goyish friends chow down on bagels and cupcakes. Available here.

ID: 936602

16. Matzoh Playing Cards

“Go gefiltefish!” Available here.

ID: 936614

17. Matzoh Dishwasher Cover

It starts in the kitchen, and before you know it your whole house will be covered in matzoh. Your town will be matzoh. Your friends, lovers, and children will be matzoh. Your life will be matzoh. Available here.

ID: 936705

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