1. Get naked.
I mean, you’ll be knitting a whole new wardrobe anyway, so why hamper your creativity and restrict your movement with more clothes?
2. (Ball-winding also requires partial nudity.)
3. Stand up straight.
And always match your project to your current outfit.
4. Who needs a chair? Not you!
5. Remember: everything’s more fun in a group.
6. Guard your yarn jealously, or else They will try and come for it.
(Also: white, ecru, and eggshell only.)
7. For a quick and easy blanket, just stab blindly with a knitting needle in an empty office cubicle.
8. A MAN, KNITTING? What a preposterous thought.
9. No egg deserves to go cozy-less.
10. (No matter how oddly shaped.)
11. Same goes for snails.
13. For Valentine’s Day, make your lover a delicious treat.