How To Knit, According To (Ridiculous) Stock Photos

Knit one, purl…what?

1. Get naked.

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I mean, you’ll be knitting a whole new wardrobe anyway, so why hamper your creativity and restrict your movement with more clothes?

2. (Ball-winding also requires partial nudity.)

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3. Stand up straight.

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And always match your project to your current outfit.

4. Who needs a chair? Not you!

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5. Remember: everything’s more fun in a group.

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6. Guard your yarn jealously, or else They will try and come for it.

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(Also: white, ecru, and eggshell only.)

7. For a quick and easy blanket, just stab blindly with a knitting needle in an empty office cubicle.

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8. A MAN, KNITTING? What a preposterous thought.

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9. No egg deserves to go cozy-less.

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10. (No matter how oddly shaped.)

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11. Same goes for snails.

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12. And…iPhones?

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13. For Valentine’s Day, make your lover a delicious treat.

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Yum, alpaca.

14. Don’t bother actually knitting a baby gift; just wrap up the yarn and call it a day.

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15. Do you REALLY love knitting? PROVE IT.

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16. Oh yarn, you slay me!

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17. Who even knows.

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