17 Decor Choices That Are Dating Red Flags

So you’ve had a lovely evening, and they invite you back to their place, and then one of these telltale signs pops up. RUN.

1. No books in sight.


Maybe they have a very demanding job that doesn’t leave time for reading, or maybe they prefer to swill Jäger in their spare time instead of embarking on a journey through the hearts and minds of others, or maybe they migrated all their reading material to a Kindle and burned their physical books in a fire. Whatever the reason, they’re a serial killer, get out.

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2. Just a twin bed.

Aww, so cozy! Reminds me of college! Or jail!

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3. Only broken mugs and free plastic cups as drinking receptacles.



Perfect for sipping on a well-aged splash of Franzia*.

*Franzia is not a red flag; perhaps a pinkish one.

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4. A highly unhappy pet.

If they can’t even remember to feed Herman or groom Suki, how will they remember to pick you up from your dentist appointments?

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5. A million bongs.

Oh so THAT’S where all your book money went.

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6. Sports bedding.

Just you, me, and the Dallas Mavericks. Shower curtains aren’t welcome either.

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7. Disney Princess bedding.

Belle doesn’t need to see that.

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8. Eerily bare walls.

Unless they recently moved in, this is a surefire sign that they a) have zero interests and/or b) are about to skip town for shady mob-related reasons. Only slightly better if the only decor is a handful of shitty movie posters or tear-stained pictures of their ex.

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9. And a completely empty fridge.


Even if they always go out or order in, this does not remotely bode well for midnight-snacking or Sriracha-owning purposes.

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10. Art made entirely out of empty booze containers.

DIY, I guess.

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11. A fully planned (fictional) wedding/pregnancy board.

All that’s missing is YOU, dear.

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12. A pile of dirty laundry bigger than you.


A normal amount is totally fine; an entire wardrobe’s worth screams “my mom biannually washes my stuff.” Bonus points if said laundry pile clearly contains somebody else’s bra/boxer briefs.

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13. Curtainless/blindless windows.


Unless you’d like their neighbors to witness your tender groping sesh.

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14. A tiny door, no higher than your knee, locked tight in a forgotten corner.


“Don’t touch that!” they bark when you approach. “That’s not for you.”

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15. Hair clippings in the sink.



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16. A Fleshlight.

C’mon, dude, at least pretend to hide that shit.

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17. Surprise parents.


Moms are rad, dads are rad, and it’s beyond reasonable to live with them after college or what have you — just don’t try and pretend that you don’t. Otherwise breakfast the next morning will be super fun.

ID: 2005293

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