21 Completely Terrifying Fake Nails

Decals too. RIP nail art.

1. Vagina And Sperm Nails

Celebrate the miracle of life every time you type.

2. Eyeball Nails

They’re watching you.

5. Apps Nail Decals

For those with extreme FOMO.

6. Blood Clot Nails

They’re “Dexter-inspired.”

7. Dracula Nail Decals

8. “Wedding Day Massacre” Nails

Bloody nails for every special occasion.

10. He Loves Me Not Nails


11. 3D Fruit Nails


12. Raccoon Nails

The furry tail charm is included.

13. Sad Cat Nails

Don’t you want to just take every last one of these guys home and give them some Fancy Feast? Well, you can’t, because they are 2-dimensional.

14. Bieber Nails

So you can pay homage to the original Canadian Idiot.

15. Jesus Nail Decals

Wait, which part of the New Testament talks about the rules for Christ-inspired nail art?

16. Custom Baby Nails

You won’t be able to touch your baby for fear that your talons will draw blood, but at least you can show it how much you truly care!

17. Brand Nails

Your nails were not made by Tiffany, that is definitely a lie.


They were also not made by Louis Vuitton, of that I can assure you.


Or Juicy Couture.


Or Playboy, God willing.

21. But hey, they’re your nails, and if someone doesn’t get them:

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Senior editor, noted cactus-killer.
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