14 Babies Who Don’t Want To Go To Your Ugly Sweater Party

They’ll follow your stupid rules and wear the damn sweaters. But they aren’t going to like it.

1. “Oh, we HAVE to wear a sweater?”

“You will literally turn us away at the DOOR if we don’t wear one?”

Buy it here.

2. “You can’t even imagine how much I’m sweating in this thing.”

You can make one yourself, if the spirit moves you.

3. “Seen one wine bottle Advent calendar, seen ‘em all.”

Buy it here.

4. “OK, calm down. It’ll be over before you know it. Just whatever you do, don’t get near the mistletoe.”

5. “You bought HOW MUCH eggnog?!?”

6. “Oops, sorry, I was so bored by your lack of an original party idea that I fell into a deep slumber.”


7. “Another…ugly sweater party…? What do you mean, there’s ANOTHER ugly sweater party?”

Pattern available here.

8. “Hopefully it’s also my last.”

9. “At this point it’s not even worth it to admit that I hate the crackle of a Yule log.”

Buy the pattern here.

10. “Maybe if I hide here long enough, they’ll stop replaying that one scene from ‘Love Actually’ and start to engage with their own lives.”

Buy it here.

11. “I’ve eaten so many thumbprint cookies that I think I’ve turned into a thumbprint cookie.”

12. “Oh, you think they don’t have ugly sweater parties in the dead of summer?”

Buy it here.

13. “You CAN’T MAKE ME GO.”

Buy it here.

14. “Seriously you guys, this is my 14th party of the season.”

Buy it here.

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Senior editor, noted cactus-killer.
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