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1. Always assume the worst.
2. Be frugal, and use pop-culture references.
3. Let him or her know that you are an intellectual. (But be humble about it.)
4. It can never hurt to share tweets from "raplikelilwayne."
5. Let them know that there's no pressure.
6. Let him or her know there are plenty of other things you could be doing with your time.
7. Play off any typos. Let them think you're smooth.
8. Let them know that by not replying, they're stopping you from fulfilling their life goals.
9. Warn them of the dangers of cats. Even if you're not communicating with a family member, never let them fall prey to the evils of cats.
10. Most importantly, PLAY IT COOL! If they know that you cleaned your toes for them, you become the vulnerable one.
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