THEY PREMIERED THE CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR TRAILER WHEN I WAS ASLEEP? HOW DARE? WHAT?
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Here are some times I became deceased while finally watching it.
1. IT'S HERE. OH GOD IT'S HERE.
2. When Bucky proved he finally remembered his life before Winter Soldier and his friendship with Steve.
3. Steve's FACE when he realized he had HIS BEST FRIEND BACK. AM I STILL BREATHING?
4. When Sam mastered the art of the supportive side-eye.
5. "They're not planning on taking you alive."
6. This jump-kick thing. I don't know what's happening but it's a lot and I am ascending.
7. When they tried to Batman Captain America with words like "vigilante."
8. When it became perfectly clear that Bucky's the linchpin in this whole Civil War conflict and that PRECIOUS FRIENDSHIPS WILL BE TORN ASUNDER.
9. When IRON MAN HIMSELF burst in at the word "consequences" and proved that point tenfold.
10. EVERYONE IS FIIIIIGHTIIIIIIING.
11. FALCOOOOOOON. GET IIIIIIIIIIIT.
12. I MEAN. REALLY.
13. STOP FIIIIGHTING. I KNOW YOUR JAWLINES COULD CUT STEELE BUT REALLY.
14. OH MY GOD.
15. WHAT UP T'CHALLA.
16. MOTHERFUCKING BLACK PANTHER IS IN THE HOUSE.
17. OH WAIT OH GOD.
18. THIS IS FINE.
19. COMPLETELY FINE.
20. OH GOD.
21. TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY FINE.
RIP ME. RIP us all.
