Steve Jobs’ Hormone Imbalance

The Apple CEO is not dying! Instead, he is suffering from a hormone imbalance that is “robbing [him] of the proteins [his] body needs to be healthy.” The disease is treatable, and he’ll stay on as Apple CEO. Steve decided to disclose this information to quell the rampant death rumors and succession speculation that his weight loss inspired. So in review: Steve Jobs isn’t dying, he’s just pregnant.

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