• 1. Free lifetime of lap dances at Scores

    Also: - A “LeBron James Day” when all the strippers will wear his jersey - And free food for life at the strip club’s very own steakhouse

  • 2. Dinner for 20, cooked by Mario Batali, every 2 weeks

    Says Mario: “Wherever you want, up to 20 people. I will make a dinner, not an Iron Chef dinner, a delicious dinner, in New York City, as a welcome.”

  • 3. Free clothes from Tommy Hilfiger

    Cool :/ Via.

  • 4. Free dinners from Jean-Georges

    As long as he wants.

  • 5. Two A-List best friends

    Even if they maybe wanted him to play for the Nets instead.

  • 6. a Top Chef dinner after every home game (for the team, too!)

    (Watch the video here.)

  • 7. (Maybe) An entire borough

  • 8. His own Carnegie Deli sandwich

    The LeBron MVP would be pastrami, corned beef, brisket, and turkey (“the best of the Carnegie Deli and the biggest sellers”) with American cheese (“instead of Swiss, because he’s an American-born player”), plus lettuce, tomato, and mustard on rye.

  • 9. All-Star teammates such as Stephen Colbert

  • 10. ..and $1 Billion

    So the Knicks promised. Kind of goes without saying, this one.