29 Ways You Know You’re From Oregon

Sunshine? What is that?

1. The first day of spring, you put on a bikini and lay in your yard even though it’s 55 degrees.

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2. Coffee is a suitable beverage for breakfast, lunch and dinner—fair trade of course.

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3. You prefer earth tones. Except for tie-dye. EVERYTHING SHOULD BE TIE-DYE.

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4. Shoes? Oh, you mean Birkenstocks. You have them in every color.

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5. Face paint. Stilts. Hemp jewelry. Loincloths. You wait all year to take your clothes off and pretend you are fairies with your friends at The Oregon Country Fair.

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6. Weed, it’s what’s for dinner.

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7. You travel hours for a VooDoo doughnut, but when you arrive you can’t decide between the bacon maple bar or the Diablos Rex.

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8. You’re feel conflicted because you love local entrepreneur Phil Knight, but you hate sweatshops.

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9. You have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

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10. Your skin is so fair it glistens in sunlight.

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11. You knew before everyone else that ‘The Simpsons’ creator Matt Groening’s Springfield was based on Springfield, Oregon.

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12. When you travel out of state you don’t understand why movie tickets are more than five dollars.

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13. You’re vegan.

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14. You have your acupuncturist, naturopathic doctor and herbalist on speed dial.

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15. You only drink organic microbrews, and are likely home brewing a selection of summer ales in your basement. Twelfth time’s the charm.

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16. You drank your water from a Nalgene bottle, until you found out it contained polycarbonate. Now you have a Kleen Kanteen.

17. Football is more than a sport; it’s a religious experience.

18. You’re conservative.

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19. JK YOU’RE SUPER LIBERAL

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20. You fantasize about going to college at Berkeley, preferably in the 1960’s.

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21. You hug trees. No really, you hug trees.

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22. You drank your liquids from mason jars before the hipsters caught on.

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23. No recycling bin? No problem. You’ll hold onto your cardboard salad container until you get home.

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24. You watch ‘Portlandia’ not because it’s funny, but because it’s scarily accurate.

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25. Your other car is a bike. Actually, both of your cars are bikes.

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26. Your apartment is furnished by Etsy. Conveniently, you sell your hand-knitted hats on Etsy. Not so conveniently, bartering is not an option.

27. You probably have dreadlocks. And you’re probably white.

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28. Every month is “No Shave November,” unless shaving is in reference to a peace sign carved into your chest hair.

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29. And no matter how much rain, grey skies or pairs of Ugg boots you ruin in muddy puddles, you will always love the beaver state.

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