The 24 Stages Of Taking Up Swimming

Jump in the pool.

1. You swam as a kid. Well, you splashed.

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2. And you’ve swum on holiday.

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3. So how hard can it be to incorporate it into your work-out routine?

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4. You dust off your sports swimsuit.

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5. You grab your swimming hat from the drawer, and head to the pool.

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6. You dip a toe in. It’s chillier than you remembered.

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7. You launch yourself in, and hope for the best.

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8. You try and remember your breathing techniques.

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9. You plough on, confidently.

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10. You can’t believe how strenuous this is. After ten lengths you’re worn out.

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11. You dry off, and are hit by an overpowering hunger.

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12. Followed by total exhaustion.

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13. But eventually you learn to pace yourself.

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14. You make new friends.

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15. And new enemies.

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16. You know that every pool has one of these.

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17. As well as one of these.

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18. You learn not to try anything funny.

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19. You become adept at negotiating lane politics.

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20. You’re a pro at hair removal.

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21. And you’ve tried everything to stop the hair on your head going green.

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22. You have a healthy respect for open-water swimmers.

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23. And maybe one day, you’ll join them.

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24. But for now, you know you have all you need right here.

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Ailbhe Malone is the UK lifestyle editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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