1. When you blow your nose, black snot comes out.
Or at least it did when you first moved here. Now the grime has probably moved to your lungs.
2. This man is our mayor.
3. Everyone is so tired that trying to convince someone to travel a mile outside their post code is like this.
4. In fact, trying to get anyone to commit to weekend plans is a mission.
6. That’s if you can even find somewhere to rent.
7. Deep breath. Time for the tube. Stand on the right hand side please!
8. There’s a special level of hell for those who wait until the last moment to take out their Oyster card.
9. Taking the tube at rush hour is an exercise in breathing in through your mouth.
11. And all compassion for fellow commuters is swiftly lost.
13. How can a circle be delayed? It’s literally going round and round.
17. Regardless, any money you take out will be gone before you know it.
25. Let’s talk tourists. Tourists with maps and umbrellas.
27. Knowing that walking down Camden High Street will involve being asked for directions to Cyberdog.
29. Foxes. Cute now, but not when they’re having screechy fox sex at night.
31. Londoners who forget that there’s life outside of London, and only talk about living in London.
But when it’s good, it’s very good.
And for a city of over 8 million, there are times when everybody becomes one.
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