1. It’s just DARKNESS.
2. Not even planets are safe in space.
WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF PLUTO? 2. In 2006 Pluto was reclassified as as dwarf planet by the IAU.
3. In space, WATER STARTS FIRES.
When supercritical water (water compressed to a pressure of 217 atmospheres and heated above 373 degrees Celsius) is mixed with organic material, oxidation takes place - a kind of burning without flames.
4. There is no noise in space. SO QUIET!
On earth, sound travels by vibrating air molecules. In space, there are no molecules to vibrate because of the large areas between planets and stars.
5. You will literally die there.
If you go to Mars you will die there.
6. You would be so lonely.
If you went to Mars, you would be on a small crew, and may develop depression.
7. Even thinking about the scale of space will make you nauseous.
Space itself is inconceivably large, but so are the different things that are inside it. From planets to solar systems, trying to understand just how big things are will make you start to feel a bit sick.
8. WHAT IS SPACE? I mean really. What is it?
WHAT IS IT?
9. There are no animals. None!
No pugs, no baby ducks, and not a corgi in sight. Space, WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU?
10. Animals hate space. This is Ham, the first chimp in space, and look how thrilled he looks with the whole ordeal.
Sure, he survived, but he had to go to space in that tiny, claustrophobic capsule. NO THANKS.
11. Black Holes. The Dementors of the sky.
In short, a black hole prevents anything, including LIGHT, from escaping its horrifying clutches. It even has a “event horizon” that literally has a “point of no return.” NOPE.
12. Where is your faithful friend, gravity?
Gravity on Mars is just a third of what it is on Earth. Your bone and muscle would deteriorate and after a while your body wouldn’t be able to cope with normal Earth conditions anymore.
13. How are you supposed to keep track of TIME?
If you can’t see the sun, WTF time is it? When are you? How long have you been floating aimlessly in this never-ending nightmare of uncertainty? Sure, you’ll eventually age, but when is lunch??
14. When does it end?
Humans quite like things to have borders and boundaries. We like edges. A beginning and an end. But in space, there are NO BORDERS. WHERE IS THE END POINT OF SPACE?
15. It LITERALLY just keeps going.
And going. And going. AND GOING. IT IS INFINITE. (Or is it?) How the feck is anyone supposed to just deal with that? IT’S NOT OK, SPACE.
16. If you were lost in space, how can you tell up from down?
Is there even such thing as up and down in space? You could be floating around upside for infinity and just never know. *vom*
17. In space, it’s either fucking freezing all of the time or you’re boiling to death.
Ever heard of climate control, space? Make up your damn mind.
18. What do you even do in space?
Unless you have a sweet ride like The Enterprise, how are you supposed to pass the time? Sure, you can stargaze, but how long before that gets old? STARS DON’T EVEN TWINKLE IN SPACE.
19. For all we know we are literally inside a universe that’s attached to a cat’s collar like in Men In Black.
Our survival could depend on a cat not losing its collar. LIFE IS SO FRAGILE.