1. When you ask your friends if there will be food at the party and when you show up, the only option is pepperoni pizza:
2. When you're at a party and the DJ decides to play some desi jams:
3. When your mom says you can finally leave the dawat after hour five:
4. When the Qari Sahib is showing you how to properly read the Qur'an, but he flips you off by pointing to the text with his middle finger:
5. When you think it's time to break fast and start drinking water, but some uncle at the mosque literally slaps the water out of your hand:
6. When your khala calls you and is like "we have some leftover nihari if you want some, beta":
7. When your trip to Pakistan is in a week and you haven't started taking your antibiotics yet:
8. When you do wuzu and then tragedy strikes:
9. When you live on your own for the first time and call home so you can scrawl down your family recipe for daal:
10. But then, of course, it turns out nothing like the smooth, spicy goodness of your youth:
11. When a white dude says they can't eat "Indian" food because they'll get the shits:
12. When you go on a chappal shopping trip in Pakistan and this momentarily terrifying thing happens:
13. When the phone rings and this moment happens:
14. When someone asks you if you speak Arabic, and you're like, "No, Pakistanis speak Urdu, Punjabi, Pasht..." and they're just like:
15. When your Abu says, "well, looks like we're out of chai," and then there's a moment of silence while you slowly realize it was a command, not a statement:
16. When your vegetarian friend comes over and asks you if there's anything for them to eat:
17. When Ammi asks if you did your homework before you go out:
18. When your mom tells you to shave your beard before your next trip to the airport, but the last time you did that you still got "randomly" selected:
19. When your parents say you're not allowed to date until you're married:
20. When you've got a big soccer game, and your dad comes to watch and he's just like:
21. When you visit Punjab after years away:
22. And finally, when somebody asks you if you've seen the poll saying Pakistanis are the 3rd hottest men in the world:
