1. The first time you got drunk was during your passover seder. With Manischewitz. At school.
2. You secretly loathed all of your friends in public school because your spring break was a different week.
3. Your Purim carnival costume said a lot about you.
4. The day you won “Mensch of The Week” is arguably the one of the best days of your life.
I’d like to thank The Academy…
*wipes tears away from eyes*
5. You’re so ready to leave school, but your mom is busy kvetching about how Dancing With The Stars and her Mahjong tournament were scheduled at the same time.
7. Wait, you brought turkey? Go sit at the meat table. Bye.
BLT for lunch? I THINK NOT.
8. Mandatory participation in all themed Hanukkah plays.
In fifth grade my school did the “Maccabeatles” and my grade’s song was “Hey Judah”….I had a solo.
9. Getting in trouble for saying “I swear I saw your bra” during the Birkat.
10. Any Mishnah/ Talmud/ Hebrew/ class taught by a remotely Hassidic rabbi.
11. Your day didn’t start until the entire school recited BOTH national anthems.
12. Cup stacking contests? More like tefillin wrapping contests.
13. Your school’s basketball team was a bit lacking in talent.
The only time your jewish basketball team scored was when a kid on other jewish team dropped his kippah.
14. You have more than three friends named Rebecca, David, Rachel, Miriam, and Adam.
16. You got a major ego boost whenever a NJB wore your Bar/Bat Mitzvah kippah.
17. Birthdays? More like Bar-Mitzvah weeks.
You were royalty.
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