• “Only using drums will help our band get featured on Stereogum!”

  • “Our parents didn’t give us names because putting labels on things is too commercial.”

  • Regular Person: “Do you want to go shopping?” Williamsburg Hipster: “Oh, no. I actually make all of my own clothes from scratch.” Regular Person: “Why is that?” Williamsburg Hipster: “Because I am a better person than you.”

  • “My name is Little Red Riding Hood and I’m off to grandma’s house to leech some free cash. Wolf Parade tickets don’t pay for themselves!”

  • “Yes! Fire upon the Nickelback listeners!”

  • “The printing press is the new tumblr.”