In this day and age, we know our gadgets can do whatever we want them to do - our knives can toast our bread, our refrigerators can provide our shopping lists, and, of course, our cell phones can wake the dead. But what can't they do? Here's an intriguing breakdown of the capabilities you never knew your products never had.
1. Your blender cannot wash your clothing.
It really tried, but at most it could hold one pair of shorts - nowhere near the capacity you need.
2. Your alarm clock cannot erase your wrinkles.
Don't you know you need your beauty sleep, anyway? But maybe if you set it to wake you up in time for your plastic surgery appointment…
3. Your sandwich maker can't slice your bagels.
This was a surprising one since they serve such a similar market anyway! Seriously, product-makers – get going on this one.
4. Your toothbrush doesn't have call waiting.
Toothbrushes just haven't reached the heights everyone predicted years ago. We're worrying about being on call 24/7 and they're still worrying about bristle design.
5. Your eBook reader will not sing you to sleep at night.
Although if you own such a device, you'll probably be able to be lulled to sleep by the sweet sound of a mechanical voice reading your favorite book, and isn't that good enough?
6. Your fax machine is not an effective weight loss coach.
Why do you even own a fax machine? Scanning and emailing isn't good enough for you? Maybe if you walked around outside a little instead of sitting in your office all day, you'd realize that people don't like fax machines anymore! Maybe I could be your weight loss coach.
7. Microwaves are not now and nor will they ever be mirrors.
I'm talking to you, Robin. If I catch you checking yourself out in a microwave one more time you can say goodbye to our Facebook friendship.
8. Your razor does not come equipped with a secret button that locates your keys.
But really, you can find your razor and not your keys? Really?
9. Your sunglasses cannot clean your floors.
And I think we're all a little safer for that. The second they tell me that my sunglasses are attracting dirt, I'm heading for the door.
10. Your bedpost cannot keep your chewing gum from losing its flavor.
Okay fine, I just threw that one in because the song was in my head. But wouldn't that be the perfect gift for your mother?
11. Finally, your cell phone will not serve as a replacement for your…dog.
That one took a long time to realize. Seriously, my cell phone is amazing.
